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nearly fucking there!!

Aug. 22nd, 2006 | 11:21 pm
music: sneaker pimps, 6 underground

so little time left, and i should probably be stressing about all i still have to do, but no, bugger that, i can barely be bothered to pin it all up, i just wanna go out dancin, chattin, talking a whole load of rubbish, falling over (hopefully gently though, no broken bones allowed), doing some more talking n talking, n dancing, and all the things that make life good-without thinking about getting up at a god foraken hour to write about the metamorphosis from urban territo...im bored already
get on now!

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washing away the troubles

Aug. 17th, 2006 | 07:53 am
music: kate bush, aerial

i've been finding that i'm turning into a right grumpy bastardby the evenings at the moment-i just think its work pressure, there's no let up. i quite fancied doing the feral woman/beast routine that nicki from big brother does to relieve some stress. instead i went for a walk along the water of leith. one of the gates was open down to the river so i went and sat on a rock right in the middle of it and dipped my feet into a fast flowing bit of the river. its such a cliche, im afraid, but it did wash away my anger and frustration. it was quite mesmerising to sit there, not really thinking of much, just watching the water go past. until i thought my feet were going to drop off as ice blocks

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work? not sure if i done that before

Aug. 8th, 2006 | 09:56 pm
music: gecko, love will keep us together

i been working so hard!! i couldnt quite believe that i was capable of it, but luckily i so far i have been. and enjoying it too mostly. im pretty tired, cant follow many conversations, or remember shit all, but i am enjoying seeing how my work has progressed ver the last 2 years.
i did have a low point earlier today, when i had had enough, could not be arsed anymore. my phone broke-my smugness at selling 2 phones from upgrades (and gettin £500 i may even more smugly add) seemed a distant past. bugger, no phone, general pissed off-ness, wondered if it was all going to go horribly wrong. hey no, whacking a phone against a desk-repeatedly-seems to do the trick. my phone jumped back into life, and i got to work again. bonus

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a lovely morning

Aug. 1st, 2006 | 11:38 am
music: radiohead, the bends

i'm getting up at about 6am at the moment. i've always been fine with early mornings, which is good, since i dont like using an alarm clock. you cant beat those early mornings for the qulaity of the sun, and the peace and quiet of the streets. its nice, waiting for, and hearing the city wake up (though not the bloody traffic-make henderson row pedestrian please!)


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tripping to sleep

Jul. 30th, 2006 | 09:23 am
music: fiona apple, fast as you can

last night, following the fear of god panics about my work i really struggled to get to sleep. recently the kalms have been doing a great job, and i've been sleeping really well. after a couple of hours of tossing and turning, i turned to the drugs again. a bit more herbal magic please. i was taking a bit too much-but i was desperate, and according to the back of the packet there are no overdoses known of, though "users may become over sedated"
bring on the over sedation, i needed to sleep!
did i bugger?
2 hours of tripping my little brain out followed that

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hurting nose

Jul. 24th, 2006 | 10:56 am
music: DJ Shadow, Entroducing

my nose hurts. i guess thats what happens when you walk into glass doors. i managed to do that at the weekend, not the brightest thing to do. i've got a big knee too, from trying to leap through a moving hula hoop. thats probably not the brightest thing to do either

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rachel's birthday

Jul. 23rd, 2006 | 02:28 pm
music: cradle, four tet

i've just come back from an idylic weekend near fife for rachel's birthday. the house was stunning, right next to the sea, and there was lots of fun and frolics. we swam after the pub on saturday night. it was pretty chilly but having a beer jacket on certainly helped. it was good to have some decent underwear on for the swim. unlike swimming in malta when i had the holiest underwear. holiest from being so old, certainly not ann summers get up. back at the house i had a lovely shower with neal, you cant beat having a gay friend for stuff like that.
sunday was beach volleyball, followed by the rowing boat with neal and jamie. i did a bit of rowing but was quite a disaster, we ended going in circles whenever i was at the helm. later we thought it might be fun to all stand up. neal and jamie both fell out, but somehow i managed to stay put. until they tipped me in.
did some more swimmming and found a frisbee floating past which was quite a find.
blissful days
back to work now-im pretty concerned that i wont get everything done.
bugger


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losing files, but not sleep

Jul. 22nd, 2006 | 07:20 am
music: snow patrol

i lost a big drawing with loads of work in it yesterday. it was a 3d model, and i had spent a bloody long time over it. something in the drawing corrupted. after much shouting and swearing at the computer, followed by a few tears, a few cigs and more swearing, i got on the case to try and see if it was'nt fixable. guy sent me some phone numbers of people who could maybe help. my bloody hpone. to add insult, my phone decided it couldnt possibly work and started switching itself off. im now waiting for the third thing to break. im hoping its just the microwave, and not my laptop.
i got in contact with dan to see if he could suggest anything. i explained what had happened, and his advice was to go and get a drink and a cig, cos i was'nt going to be seeing that drawing again.
i nearly did go for a drink, but thought it might be a bit silly-lose a load of work then go and spend some hours in the pub? not good logic. i took my daily dose of kalms and re started the drawing. then i had a bath, and managed to see a positive side out of it all-at least it had happened now, and not a week before hand in when i had done a load more work on it (well, not a load, it was virtually finished, but i needed to think that to keep the positivity stuff going)
and ive learnt to save drawings more often and better.
those kalms are damn good things

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phone in?

Jul. 8th, 2006 | 11:58 am
music: mystery jets, ageless

i was watching sturday kitchen this morning whilst at the gym (my days of sitting on the sofa lazily watching tv have been suspended for the next 4 weeks). myleen klass was on (is there no escaping bloody celebrity-dom?), and was discussing her favourite and hated foods-crab and beans respectively. the viewers then had the choice of phoning in and saying which dish the chef should cook for myleen. what i wondered is-who gives a fuck what she eats? who wakes up on a saturday morning and thinks, ah, yes, ill phone saturday kitchen and get myleen to eat some beans.
ok, i admit that i did phone in for the final of strictly dance fever (4 times), but they are bloody talented and extra cool! myleen klass and beans? not even in the same league

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argh!!

Jul. 7th, 2006 | 03:41 pm

FIVE WEEKS TO GO!! BUGGER. im feeling the stress now, constantly verging on the hysteria, panic. horribleness

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